I LOVE change... really?!?!

“I love change! Change is so exciting! Transitions are so energizing!” For the past 11 years those phrases have been on the tip of my tongue every few years as I changed houses, schools, cities, countries, boyfriends, etc. I pride myself on being a minimalist and not ever having too much “stuff”. This meant that I was easily able to pack up and move from place to place when the wind blew or I felt called to something new. I loved it.
But, something happened right around 27 when I decided to buy a condo in Atlanta. My roommate from college called it “Crazy! You are allergic to commitment!” My mother called it “nesting”. Hindsight being 20/20 I now call it “What the hell was I thinking”?!?!? But, both my roommate and my mother are correct. Somehow, without realizing it and without actually wanting it I settled in to a life that was comfortable and I was content. Of course, my allergy to commitment caught up with me and I have been itching to “get out” ever since I signed the papers.
I didn’t realize the fullness of this “nesting” until I began packing up my condo and moving all of my belongings in to friends’ homes, my parents’ garage, storage, boxes to be shipped to Brasil and two very overweight suitcases. While packing up the last of my shoes (of which I readily admit I have way too many) I had a mini break-down realizing I was turning over the condo that I own and am attached to to renters (a really wonderful couple!). These renters had already begun to move in some of their items- their cooking supplies, bathroom items, food and heaps of spices. The condo no longer smelled like me. It now smelled like them- pepper, coriander and men’s deodorant- and this was a change I was not prepared for. But, my mini-break down reminded me that this “nesting” truly was not what I wanted. I had never wanted to become content and comfortable, I always desired and craved challenge, new experiences, and stepping out of my comfort zone. This move is nothing more than a response to a call to be my true self rather than the stranger I had gradually and unknowingly eased in to.
So, though I am currently living with a slight case of anxiety- not having the correct visa, not yet being fluent in Portuguese and not knowing exactly what the future holds- I know that this move is the right step because I am being true to who I am created me to be, true to the Spirit’s call and true to the magnetism that draws me toward PRECE. And, because of that my soul is at peace.