Hospitality and Self-Worth

Recently I have been reflecting on the relationship between hospitality and self-worth.  Northeastern Brazilians are by far the most hospitable and generous people I have ever met in my life.  They will spend their last dime preparing a meal they think that you will enjoy.  They will give up their bed/bedroom and sleep on the floor/hammock so that you are comfortable and well rested. They continually put aside their best interests to focus on the interests of others.  This is especially true for those who live in impoverished communities and inhuman conditions.

When I first visited Northeastern Brazil I, like many other foreigners, took this generosity for granted and just figured it was because they are all nice people.  But, after living in Northeastern Brazil for 2 years I have learned that this hospitality is more than just a result of being a nice group of people.  This hospitality and generosity is buried beneath layers of humility and sadly a considerable amount of lack of self-worth.

Let’s examine for a moment the North American society I grew up in (*disclaimer- I am white and middle class.  I know that my reality might not be necessarily accurate for all North Americans*). Most Americans, when hosting a dinner party, will prepare a dish they love and hope that others will also enjoy.  I have met no American who has given up his master suite and slept on the couch so that his guest is comfortable.  Instead we design guest bedrooms, pull out couches, and trundle beds to accommodate our guests.  We are polite, well-mannered, and kind.  But 9 times out of 10 we put our interests first and care for others 2^nd. Dare I say that this is because since birth we are taught that we are worthy, valuable, deserving, and yes, at times superior to others. 

The poor northeastern Brazilian, however, is not necessary raised with these same beliefs.  He is told by his government (not in words as much as actions) that he is only valuable if he has money.  If he is poor, he might not be deserving of running water, electricity, paved roads and public education.  She, the northeasterner, is told by southern Brazilians that she is uneducated, “backward” and less capable of success than he, the southerner.  And, being born in South America, he is always considered “less than” the North American and his country receives labels such as “developing nation” and he is the recipient of social projects from “developed nations”.  When she looks in the mirror, she sees not only her reflection, but on her shoulders she sees the weight of everyone else she compares herself to. 

Somewhere there must be a way to help the impoverished northeastern Brazilian discover her own worth, while not exalting her to the level of conceit that many North Americans unfortunately display to the rest of the world.  This is where I have seen PRECE step in and make a difference.  PRECE, through education, is teaching young voters not to sell their votes for a little cash but seek out candidates who will represent their best interests.  PRECE, through the weekend educational and recreational programs, is teaching young children that they are capable and worthy of attention, education and resources.  And, through it all they are still remaining grounded in humility and gratitude as proven each time the university students return to their home communities to give back and “pay it forward”.  Through PRECE, the rural poor Northeastern is being shown his great worth and learning self-respect as well as respect for others.