Most of us think that we are supposed to "discover ourselves" in our mid
20s after we have passed through our tumultuous teenage years and our wild
college days. I, however, have learned
that the discovery process never ends and is a constant ebb and flow of new
revelations of self. And, over these
past 2 years living in Brasil I have learned more about myself and the world
around me than I could have ever imagined.
First and foremost I have realized that I have some limits and some
things which are simply unacceptable for me.
I have a threshold and our world also should have a limit to our
tolerance. In Portuguese there is a saying “certo é certo,
e errado é errado”. “Right is
right, and wrong is wrong”. It is simply
wrong for a government to not provide running water for its people while the
politicians themselves bask in wealth and luxury. It is simply wrong for a man to abuse/control
his wife because society accepts and perpetuates the culture of machismo. It is simply wrong for children to be denied
access to education. These things are
not acceptable and should be fought against.
At the same time, I have seen that the struggle must be done through
love and respect rather than force. 
My work with PRECE has shown me that there must be a strong faith and
conviction in fighting for what is right, and that the movement must bubble up
from the people but be supported by those in power. When a non-threatening approach to change
takes place, and the actions are done through love amazing things can happen. 
2nd- I have
discovered that I am more materialistic than I ever thought I was. My parents never bought my sister and I “stuff”
but we always had access to what we needed.
“Stuff” was never of value in my family, but experiences, travel and
education were top priorities. But,
growing up middle class I always had more “stuff” than was necessary. Here in Brasil I have learned that there are
certain comforts that I enjoy which make me more materialistic than I had
imagined. I can live without running
water, but I hate it. I can wash my
laundry by hand, but I get annoyed by it and my fingers shrivel up in to grapes. I can take the bus and moto-taxi’s all around
the city and even the country, but having a car and flying are so much more
comfortable. I can take showers with
cold water, but it isn’t as enjoyable as relaxing under hot steamy water. I can
use a tiny half broken cell phone, but an Iphone is much more appealing and
functional. I have learned that “living without”
simply makes me “want” what I don’t have and what I don’t have access to. I now better understand the reason why many
who live in poverty day in and day out want material things more than
fulfilling basic needs. It is a way to escape
the poverty for a moment and feel like a “have” not a “have-not”. 
3rd- I have learned what the word hospitality means and that
relationships are more important than issues.
I have watched in awe as Brasilians have opened their homes to me, offered
me their last cup of coffee or their last piece of bread, and gone out of their
way to make sure I am comfortable and happy.
Brasilians have a way of putting others before themselves (almost to the
point of de-valuing themselves) and giving the best of themselves before taking
care of self. It is a lesson that all
North Americans could learn.
4th- Here in Brasil I have learned the meaning of the word “saudades”. This word does not have a direct translation
in any other language, but it can be described as “a deep longing for
something/someone that we don’t know if/when we will see again”. I was always taught to be independent and
take care of myself. I learned through
experience that opening myself up and “getting too close” could mean that I in turn
got hurt. So, I like many North
Americans built a tough outer shell.
But, the Brasilians broke me of that.
They taught me that it is better to open myself to feel love, connection
and solidarity even if it means one day feeling the pain of loss. As I deal with the fact that I will be moving
back to the USA in a month I am open to the idea that for the first time in my
life I will experience true “saudades”.
I know for a fact that my work with PRECE and the Professional High
School will never end. I will continue
to work for them and alongside their movement while in the United States. But, there might be people that I never see
again. There are smiling faces that are
engrained in my memory but that I might not again encounter for years. I have been deeply and forever changed by the
people of Brasil and I will sense a great deal of “saudades” when I do not
physically walk alongside them daily. 
5th- I have been reminded that life is a journey. On Thursday the students at EEEP Alan Pinho
Tabosa Professional School sang “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus to Drs. David and
Roger Johnson. “Ain’t about how fast I
get there. Ain’t about what’s waiting on
the other side. It’s the climb.” Okay,
so, I might have some grammatical issues with the lyrics, but this song reminds
me that what matters isn’t the final result, but the journey. And, our journey is a lifelong process. If we are willing to keep being molded by the
world and people around us, our beautiful journey will continue forever. And, the journey is much more fulfilling when
we do it within a supportive community rather than alone. 
6th- I have learned to give up control… well, at least a bit.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I like to have control, I am stubborn and I
am at times simply a very difficult person to get along with. I am typically able to disguise these lovely
characteristics in professional relationships, but those whom I love the most
sometimes see the ugliness and rawness in me.
Brasil has helped me soften a bit. I don’t go in to friends’ homes anymore
and immediately begin “cleaning their mess”.
I don’t always demand my own way and when necessary I accept discomfort
to make someone else more comfortable.
Patience is not a virtue here in Brasil, it is a necessity and I have
become a bit more patient. But, I have a
long way to go. In so many ways I can
still improve, but I am on my way!
I am so thankful for what my experiences in Brasil have taught me and I
am grateful for that the learning and growth will never end.
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