Studying at PRECE

Studying at PRECE
Students from PRECE study together under the juazeiro tree in small groups using cooperative learning

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Growing Pains


Most of us think that we are supposed to "discover ourselves" in our mid 20s after we have passed through our tumultuous teenage years and our wild college days.  I, however, have learned that the discovery process never ends and is a constant ebb and flow of new revelations of self.  And, over these past 2 years living in Brasil I have learned more about myself and the world around me than I could have ever imagined.

First and foremost I have realized that I have some limits and some things which are simply unacceptable for me.  I have a threshold and our world also should have a limit to our tolerance.  In Portuguese there is a saying “certo é certo, e errado é errado”.  “Right is right, and wrong is wrong”.  It is simply wrong for a government to not provide running water for its people while the politicians themselves bask in wealth and luxury.  It is simply wrong for a man to abuse/control his wife because society accepts and perpetuates the culture of machismo.  It is simply wrong for children to be denied access to education.  These things are not acceptable and should be fought against.  At the same time, I have seen that the struggle must be done through love and respect rather than force. 

My work with PRECE has shown me that there must be a strong faith and conviction in fighting for what is right, and that the movement must bubble up from the people but be supported by those in power.  When a non-threatening approach to change takes place, and the actions are done through love amazing things can happen.

2nd-  I have discovered that I am more materialistic than I ever thought I was.  My parents never bought my sister and I “stuff” but we always had access to what we needed.  “Stuff” was never of value in my family, but experiences, travel and education were top priorities.  But, growing up middle class I always had more “stuff” than was necessary.  Here in Brasil I have learned that there are certain comforts that I enjoy which make me more materialistic than I had imagined.  I can live without running water, but I hate it.  I can wash my laundry by hand, but I get annoyed by it and my fingers shrivel up in to grapes.  I can take the bus and moto-taxi’s all around the city and even the country, but having a car and flying are so much more comfortable.  I can take showers with cold water, but it isn’t as enjoyable as relaxing under hot steamy water.   I can use a tiny half broken cell phone, but an Iphone is much more appealing and functional.  I have learned that “living without” simply makes me “want” what I don’t have and what I don’t have access to.  I now better understand the reason why many who live in poverty day in and day out want material things more than fulfilling basic needs.  It is a way to escape the poverty for a moment and feel like a “have” not a “have-not”. 

3rd- I have learned what the word hospitality means and that relationships are more important than issues.  I have watched in awe as Brasilians have opened their homes to me, offered me their last cup of coffee or their last piece of bread, and gone out of their way to make sure I am comfortable and happy.  Brasilians have a way of putting others before themselves (almost to the point of de-valuing themselves) and giving the best of themselves before taking care of self.  It is a lesson that all North Americans could learn. 

4th- Here in Brasil I have learned the meaning of the word “saudades”.  This word does not have a direct translation in any other language, but it can be described as “a deep longing for something/someone that we don’t know if/when we will see again”.  I was always taught to be independent and take care of myself.  I learned through experience that opening myself up and “getting too close” could mean that I in turn got hurt.  So, I like many North Americans built a tough outer shell.  But, the Brasilians broke me of that.  They taught me that it is better to open myself to feel love, connection and solidarity even if it means one day feeling the pain of loss.  As I deal with the fact that I will be moving back to the USA in a month I am open to the idea that for the first time in my life I will experience true “saudades”.  I know for a fact that my work with PRECE and the Professional High School will never end.  I will continue to work for them and alongside their movement while in the United States.  But, there might be people that I never see again.  There are smiling faces that are engrained in my memory but that I might not again encounter for years.  I have been deeply and forever changed by the people of Brasil and I will sense a great deal of “saudades” when I do not physically walk alongside them daily.

5th- I have been reminded that life is a journey.  On Thursday the students at EEEP Alan Pinho Tabosa Professional School sang “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus to Drs. David and Roger Johnson.  “Ain’t about how fast I get there.  Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side. It’s the climb.”  Okay, so, I might have some grammatical issues with the lyrics, but this song reminds me that what matters isn’t the final result, but the journey.  And, our journey is a lifelong process.  If we are willing to keep being molded by the world and people around us, our beautiful journey will continue forever.  And, the journey is much more fulfilling when we do it within a supportive community rather than alone.

6th- I have learned to give up control… well, at least a bit. Anyone who knows me well knows that I like to have control, I am stubborn and I am at times simply a very difficult person to get along with.  I am typically able to disguise these lovely characteristics in professional relationships, but those whom I love the most sometimes see the ugliness and rawness in me.  Brasil has helped me soften a bit. I don’t go in to friends’ homes anymore and immediately begin “cleaning their mess”.  I don’t always demand my own way and when necessary I accept discomfort to make someone else more comfortable.  Patience is not a virtue here in Brasil, it is a necessity and I have become a bit more patient.  But, I have a long way to go.  In so many ways I can still improve, but I am on my way!

I am so thankful for what my experiences in Brasil have taught me and I am grateful for that the learning and growth will never end.

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